Poetry Forum
Alex_Bruinekool
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all messages by user
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2/7/2012 6:15:47 PM
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Be brutal...The hypocracy that is me
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A poem of this sort works better in iambic pentameter. This from just doesn't work with the wording. Also, if you're going to use adjective after adjective, make the poem shorter. I found myself wanting to skip to the end to see if there's any real point to it all. Unnecessary words can kill a piece as easily as anything.
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