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11/5/2013 9:14:12 PM
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New Ist post Need critique please be nice
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First things first: this is an awesome poem. It's modern and very socially-conscious with good morals and ethics. Aside from a few bumps in your rhythm and beat, I loved this piece. It has a few wrinkles that need ironing out. With some polish and refinement, you will have an excellent poem. A lot of people aren't syllable counters, but I am. In your first two lines, you have an 8 syllable verse vying with a 10 syllable verse. Not a big deal, but it does create a break in rhythm. The best suggestion I can give you if you decide to revise this piece is to count your syllables, and try to keep them as close as possible. In your last lines, you have a 14 syllable verse vying with 19 syllable verse and creates a big bump in rhythm. I loved the emotion and imagery in this work; it's really quite wonderful despite minor flaws. I hope this critique was helpful; rhyme is my forte and what I do best. Don't believe me? Check out my work lol (just kidding you; not being narcissistic.) For real, you have the beginnings of a great poem here. Enjoyed it very much 
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11/8/2013 12:30:50 PM
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Reason if any for writing a poem
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Hi, Joseph. There are many different ways you can do this. You can share your motivation in other areas of the forum, like the "writing poetry" forum; "poetry everything" forum or even the "I just need to talk" section. I'd love to hear about your motivation, so just pick a spot. You could even write a "narrative poem" and post it that way. Hope these are helpful ideas
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11/8/2013 4:52:49 PM
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Greetings All
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Salutations, Austin/Ostin! I hope you are liking The Soup and I hope everyone is being friendly, warm and welcoming. Happy to hear you are interested in getting back into poetry. What kind of poetry do you enjoy and what kind do you write? As I tell everyone new person to the site, I know what it's like to be the new kid in class so if you have any questions or if I can be of any help, just let me know; always happy to help a new Souper!
~Chan aka JustThatArchaicPoet
edited by JustLivingLies on 11/8/2013
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11/9/2013 6:15:11 AM
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Hey Everyone!!
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Welcome to the Soup, Shadea! Hope everyone is being helpful, warm and friendly. Hope you enjoy our little poetic haven and sanctuary. If you need any help or assistance or anything, feel free to let me know; I know how it feels to be new to the site. Look forward to reading your work
~Chan aka JustThatArchaicPoet
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11/9/2013 1:08:55 PM
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introducing myself
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Hi, Denise, if I can help you in any way, feel free to shoot me a Soup Mail and I will do my best to advise you in your poetic endeavors
~Chan aka JustThatArchaicPoet
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12/3/2013 1:21:17 PM
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chat room
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I'm a premium member but I also get the "500" error so I assume there is something askew with it right now. Not sure how to get in or if I can get in.
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12/3/2013 1:29:40 PM
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No respect
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No disrespect at ALL intended, Gabe, but after reading the first line, I just kept thinking "Rodney Dangerfield" over and over and couldn't get past it. The two pieces seem disparate (to me). While I think it's all very well expressed, I must admit that I didn't quite get it, but that's not to say someone else won't take what they need from this piece, and understand it much better than I. I give you credit for your word crafting, however; it's excellent. Not a very helpful critique, I'm afraid.
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12/18/2013 1:45:28 PM
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Change in my contest rules
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I realized that the restrictions of my contest to personify an animal were hurting the chances of more people feeling free enough to enter so I changed the rules and you may now submit any type of poem personifying an animal. Any style; any length. You can add your name or stay anonymous; it's up to you. I just want more people to feel like the can enter and hope more people decide to tackle what I consider to be an interesting challenge. Thanks! Just That Archaic aka Chan
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12/18/2013 3:52:20 PM
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Wow, very new. Such poet. Many artistic. Wow...
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I like you already, AP. I am also gay, introverted and awkward; we may be kindred Souls lol. Would love to read some of your work!
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12/18/2013 3:54:33 PM
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Wow, very new. Such poet. Many artistic. Wow...
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Have you posted anything yet? If so, where can I find it? I tried to look for you to no avail.
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12/18/2013 3:56:47 PM
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In Nature there is no room for feeling
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Gabe, even though I'm a terrible judge at your form of poetry, I must say you always enchant me, even if I don't exactly know or understand what you are saying. You manage to pack a lot of punch in such short verses. I always enjoy reading your work; you are one talented fellow. This was a cool read
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12/18/2013 4:02:45 PM
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New here first poem for critique
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I'm not a fan of "free-verse" per se, but I must compliment you for your style. I have written a few free-verse or non-rhyming pieces, and to me, the most important element in the non-rhyming styles is EMPHASIS, which you did quite well with your repetition of certain words and ideas. To me, that's an example of good free-verse and non-rhyme. I think your poem is great, but my forte is rhyme, so I have little authority on the non-rhyme genres, I'm afraid. Kudos to you, nonetheless!
edited by JustLivingLies on 12/18/2013
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1/27/2014 11:11:07 AM
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Greetings
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If you want to get banned, you won't find it difficult, but it seems like a futile endeavor and complete waste of one's time. Having read many books by Anton LaVey and Aleister Crowley (to name just a few), I would bet you have little interest or actual knowledge of occultism/Satanism, and would only wish to write such a piece for shock value, which is boring and petty, at best.
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