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1/2/2017 8:31:28 PM Carolyn Fish Posts: 12	Was feeling somewhat heartbroken when I wrote this, and had also been listening to way too much DMB. I imagine some instrumentation going along with this, so please excuse the jaunty meter, I think of this ultimately as something to be sung. Send that message That signal so far Is there a tower, some beam That could speak to that distant star A million miles Separated Years on that rocket Could get anyone jaded We looked up as kids That glitter caught our eyes Stole our hearts Spun beautiful lies How pretty those stars were To we who didn't know better Now to think, we can catch those dreams? How silly How childish of a dream that seems Those stars and their lovely call Telling us they weren't really that far at all How so very pretty they were To we, captivated, who didn't know better Should've known better Years on that ship In the dark In the cold In those places Where space is So twisted and uncontrolled So close we come To the warmth of that distant Sun Cast out again In our rocket we spin Flung into the deep and the darkness we float again Lost and trying to find Blink that message out to Some other lonely mind Not sure it will land when we're this far out Where words fall like feathers The silence a deafening shout How so very pretty those stars still are We do know better But will still go so far Through that crystal wall Cold Never ending Straight into those glittering flames Heart rending Should've known better Will never know better What code is that beaming That we could know better God knows we try Though our message lost In that vacuum between where our signal gets tossed about Battered and broken Words bridging the void just To never be spoken Its meaning we dance about We were taught so much better Why don't we do better Than flying alone Should be cruising the stars together How loud How big Should that signal be Put a tower on the moon If it'll call you to me To visit those glittering specks we admired Validate and make real that to which we aspired Lost a wing? Here take mine May take a while, but we'll get there in time Better late than never Seeing wonders together Than spinning out, fuel down low, lost to forever There is a better Not hard to do better Sift through the noise For that message to weather The chaos, the static, the cosmic melee So two rockets can find One another And play In the glittering warmth of some star far away.
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1/3/2017 9:04:00 AM Doug Vinson Posts: 102	Dave Matthews turns 50 in 6 days. If a song, would you have a refrain about knowing/doing better? Life seems pretty chaotic here on earth, compared to how it would be - how it would have to be - for true interstellar travel.
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1/3/2017 3:02:49 PM Carolyn Fish Posts: 12	Yeah it's not exactly perfect as far as having a very formal refrain, mostly the "doing/knowing/should've done" better sections act as a loose refrain. I wrote this poem as a metaphor for 2 lovers fighting and unable to communicate with each other, and all the miscommunication, distractions of daily life, stubborness, expectations acting as barriers to receiving/sending our messages in a way that can be understood. The loneliness of space, for me, illustrates the loneliness of of being physically close to someone and yet absolutely unable to communicate effectively.
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1/9/2017 1:48:22 PM Graphite Drug Posts: 81	Many poets begin by using capitals for each line and using lines and convenient punctuation for what they assume is poetic meter. I'm not sure that is what is happening here, but it is easy for readers to get lost. Something to experiment with may be use of stanzas. For instance: Send that message That signal so far Is there a tower, some beam That could speak to that distant star? A million miles, separated Years on that rocket Could get anyone jaded
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