I Hear My Mothers Voice

Written by: Bernadette Langer

I hear my mother's voice 
among cracked eggshells 
and broken dreams 

her tears flowing quietly 
with acceptance 
upon my cheeks 

as I strive 
for a different lot 
than the one once 

I hear disappointment
in the long pauses 
of her sighs 

with just that ache 
that always yearns 
for so much more 

I hear the excuses 
tripping from 
sullen lips 
trying to curve 
into a smile 

but denial 
weights it down 
in corners where she 
was pigeoned holed 

I hear my mother's voice 
as I speak in words 
I don't wish to hear 

with inflections 
I don't wish to feel
and with outcomes 
I never wish to 

and so I strive to find 
my own voice 
among the constant clatter 
of memory and probability 

searching to define myself 
with her voice to guide 
instead of control

my destiny...