Untying of a Love Knot

Written by: Bella Cardenas

When I used to dream
I used to dream about him
Fantasizing about how it happened and how it could have been
Demons, chasing Nightmares, Happiness on Poles
Tied into a loveknot and dangled in front of me
No matter how I ran, how far, how fast
It seemed to sweetly Escape
Just when he was in my grasp

I tried it all
New haircuts
New styles
New boys
Sexy sexy skirts
With  new pairs of heels
Filling holes with things that
Really don’t mean anything 
Except to say

I’m doing just fine without you

Days go by, 
Months slip away
Years appear on doorsteps like unwanted infantile  
Infatuations
I beat my self up for loving

the way
He moved
Spoke, touched
Laughed, ached, cried
He could
Heal the burns on my fiery soul
He could handle
Dangerous curves
On roadways unknown

My first love

Today I no longer linger
On whispers in photographs
Or chain ball letters
I don’t chase after  white sports cars
Or sink when I hear his name
I see him sometimes and I feel his stare

Sting me on the places it hits
I’m with my own
And his with his other
But just to let him know
It’s okay
I smile
and let go

Unraveling
This cord
of discord

Love is forever
No matter the occasion
I forgive, i forget
and let him live
Without me


I appreciate
His gift, wrapped with 
detachment
For the benefit, of each other

He showed me with open eyes
That I did not need a man

                                       For me
                                        To love
                                           Me
He gave 
A bittersweet
Indescribable


Emotion. The Gift
Of Poetry.



Thank you…