A Mother's Grief

Written by: Kirstie Fontes

Sadness and heartache 
overwhelm my body. My arms 
are heavy from the emptiness 
they feel. Where is the child I 
was to hold on this day. Why 
must I hurt in this terrible way. 

 Why must my heart be filled 
with darkness and despair. 
When will I see the light again. 
Please just hold me until that 
day is here. Please just love me 
and let me know you are near. 

I feel an emptiness that cannot 
be filled. My mind overflows 
with painful memories. I cannot 
make them go away. I fear that 
this pain is here to stay.

 Dreams that are never to be 
fulfilled. A piece of myself that 
will never be real. A loving coo 
that will never be heard. Never 
a laugh or a cry or the awaited 
first word. 

No first steps to be taken. No 
first day of school. No first time 
at bat, or catching a ball. For 
my son, there will be no firsts 
at all. 

I am lost in a grief that is all 
my own. Shedding tears for a 
life that will never be known. 
With a broken heart, full of 
sadness and fear. I love you 
sweet Matthew. Mommy will 
always be here.