While you were out

Written by: Terry Burns

While you were out I started to think.
I thought so hard that it drove me to drink.
I drank so much that I fell on the floor 
And when I got up I fell through the door. 
I rolled off the porch and into the grass
And onto a nail that stuck in my ass.
I screamed in horror as I ran for the house 
And as I ran in I tripped on a mouse.
As I was flying all up in the air 
I landed atop my wife’s favorite chair.
The chair was now broken and fell to the floor 
at the same moment that she walked through the door. 
When I woke up I was outside my home 
and staring right into the face of a gnome.
So if you ever sit down to think 
don’t ever let it drive you to drink.