Attempting One-liners Again

Written by: Timothy Hicks

My cousin from Britain wanted the American experience... (I gave her a Twinkie)
Some bloke on Facebook said I was dum and I mailed him a dictionary
I ran out of tissues watching Titanic... (I guess laughter does birth a river)
The Queen went to the loo after a game of poker... (safe to assume that she had a Royal Flush)
A girl whispered seductively "I'll be counting the minutes until you return". The fool pointed out she could use a clock instead.
There's no such thing as a self-centered midget... (how could he ever climb such a high horse?)
I posted a picture of scotch broom and my uncle said "Of gorse it is!"
My cat ran to the river and was never found again... (must have been the cattails)
I never thought I'd stoop to botany jokes, but it's always nice to have a daff