I can not

Written by: William J. Jr. Atfield

I can not !

But so desperately want to stop crying a billion tears,
trying so hard to drown out some of the past two years.
My soul, drenched, wants to weep no more
for the love, I have kept in store 
for this woman – beautiful – who wants not
what I have given, to give what I have got
to give and allow to live to the fullest
or provide a place for my head to rest. 

I am unable to stop the constant thoughts of you
from seeping into the turmoil of my busy days.
I am unable to stop wondering what it is I should do –
a conclusion that might help change the ways
in which my thoughts, my heart can deal
with all that fills my hours with what I feel, 
what I would love to have – forever with you.  

B. J. “A” 2
September 15th 2008