Written by: Vince Suzadail Jr.

Once sailing the high and might seas
Now I get blown over by a breeze
Could reach the stars now I can't reach my knees
Check my pants every time I sneeze
When my knees rub together it brings me to tears
Doctor says I have to limit my beers
Getting medical tests just heighten my fears
So why the hell do they call these the GOLDEN YEARS
If I don't wear glasses, I just can't see
When I get up in the morning, I just can't pee
It's almost impossible to bend my knee
My chastity belt ain't got no key
Doctor said I won't tell you no lie
You're going to live until the day you die
And the longer you live, the richer am I
If you ever lose medicare I'm going to cry
These are the GOLDEN YEARS. Let's celebrate
Bran muffins and prunes on a paper plate
Metamucil doesn't taste that great
A moving experience. that's my fate.