Somewhat Twisted Thoughts of the Day

Written by: Tim Ryerson

If love is a game I need a referee
If sex is a game I want instant re-play
I played the game of life but fouled out
Life stinks (Forgot to take a shower his morning)
Just my luck, life was but a dream and my alarm went off

Does a bear sh-t in the woods? (Don't think Polar Bears do)
When pigs fly, my windshield's in BIG trouble
The egg came before the chicken but some fool sat on it
I want to fly like an eagle but I have a fear of heights
NEVER venture outdoors when it's raining cats and dogs
Maggots began the tradition of getting married in June

She told me to go fly a kite but the take-off was rather chaotic
Two neighbors gossiped over an electric fence and were shocked at the news
If you need someone to lean on make sure they don't have Vertigo
A new cemetery employee is often assigned to the graveyard shift
A harried and harassed mother accidentally threw the bath water out with the baby
Due to inflation, every time it rains it rains, quarters from heaven
I took the money and ran but ran into an old friend...