Please listen to ALL options
before just picking the first heard
as our lengthening menu evolves
at director Dogbert's whim -
if you feel scorn, think of him,
feel truly despised - maybe again
For unwarranted unwanted ad campaigns
press zero to hear the menu again
If you wish to feed our monkey
press the green button for chunky
To hear Cindy's voice of sweet honey
press asterisk if you're feelin' lucky
For automated Pavlovian choices
press thirteen for our human voices
For your protection and our
psychological profile of your angst
we'll ask a few "personal" questions
no need to holdout at this point
Pick any three of the following questions:
What is your favorite security question?
What is your brother's mother's other son's name?
How many questions are there?
Ok, now, have your passport, shoes, and
credit card in your left hand,
everything else in your right -
Speak LOUDLY into the microphone...
over HERE to place your order.
Do you need Catsup?
Place your left hand on the touch screen
for confirmation of your order -
Do you know left from right? -
Ok, now stand perfectly still
Do NOT cross the white line
By the way, may we see your
concealed carry permit
for that heart of yours?
Now, we feel secure - don't you?
© Goode Guy 2013-02-03