The Shroud

Written by: Eileen Ghali

I see it
The shroud
Hovering above me
Before I saw its gauzy whiteness
I felt it presence
Hanging there
Now…. I see it
As it descends
And I close my eyes
And lie still
Unable to run away
Or to move
As unseen hands
Enshroud me
Layer upon layer
Wrapped around my soul
Immobilizing my thoughts
My feelings
My joys
And my dreams
My desires

Silence
I’m enveloped in the silence
The only sound
Is a requiem for the dead
That plays in my head
As I lay entombed in my room
No point in struggling
My arms feel like lead
My emotions dead
I wait….

I wait…
For unseen hands
To free me
Again
I don’t know how long it will take
This time…. 
A few hours
A day
A week
I am helpless
The shroud
Embracing my nakedness
Feigning protection
And love
And comfort
Lulling me to sleep
And yet I know
It is sinister
Sapping my strength
And vitality
Whispering lies
As it caresses me
And squeezes me ever tighter
“Better to stay in my embrace
The world out there is cruel
Unkind
Unloving
Here…here enveloped in me
No need to worry
To struggle
To try
To dream
Just lie back into my sweet nothingness.”

Tears wet the part of the shroud
Lying against my face
This shroud named depression
That is claiming my life
Slowly..but surely
I exhale
Wondering if it is my last breath
Wondering if they will miss me
Longing to be free
Yet feeling secure
Life IS too difficult…it’s true
Too much pain
Perhaps if I just close my eyes
And stop breathing
It will all go away
And my shroud will be
My forever covering...

Eileen Manassian Ghali