Goofy Stuff

Written by: Jack Ellison



In her lifetime, a cow produces Two hundred thousand glasses of milk Wow, they must be total wrecks After a hundred they must start to wilt Your average domestic cat bombs along At about thirty-one miles an hour Especially if old family dog, Rover Is attempting her hide to devour Did you know that old George W. Bush Was once a cheerleader in college I'll bet your life is finally complete Since I passed on that bit of knowledge People spend over three and a half years Whiling away life on the can Headstones should be shaped like toilets And also be equipped with a fan There's a town in PA called Intercourse I wonder what prompted the townsfolk To call their town such a provocative name Guess it was their idea of a joke Studies show most Australian women Will have sex on the very first date Booking my ticket tomorrow morning Heard their climate there is great Seems the next place after the bedroom Most people have sex in the car I'm writing this poem from the back seat Of my gorgeous Nissan GT-R A thousand birdies die each year From smashing headlong into windows Sure not the smartest of God's little creatures Just one step up from the minnow Okay, just a bit more of this crazy talk Then I really must take my leave You lose weight by just smelling bananas I find that quite hard to believe! © Jack Ellison 2013