An Evenin' At The Long Branch Saloon
Things wuz purty quiet 'til them thirsty cowpokes stormed into Abilene town!
They'd been on the long and dusty trail and wuz ready to toss some whiskey down!
The trail boss paid 'em thar wages sayin', "Boys, behave yerselfs! Yer on yer own!"
They invaded the town like a swarm of locusts chased by a Kansas cy'ber'clone!
Like good cowpokes, they saw to the needs of thar hosses, feedin' 'em hay and oats,
Then skedaddled to the Long Branch Saloon to sate thar dry and thirsty throats!
They wuz met with open arms by Madam Bonita and bartender One-Eared Bob,
Who heard them coins a-jinglin' in the cowboys' jeans that they intended to rob!
Pianner Player Two-Fingered Pete played, "Thar'll Be A Hot Time In Town Tonight!"
He'd seen it all b'for and knowed b'for the night wuz done there'd be a wild fight!
Bouncer Tornado Tom tried to confiscate thar rods, but the boys had none of that!
After all, a cowpuncher feels mighty naked without his pointy boots and handy gat!
Some of the fellers started gittin' a bit too familiar with Madam Bonita's soiled doves!
Rabble offended at sech liberties with thar wimmin, resulted in pushes and shoves!
One-Eared Bob seen trouble wuz brewin' and placed his trusty 12-gauge on the bar,
And yelled, "I don't want no trouble! If'n yer lookin' fer trouble, git on outta h'yar!"
The boys paid no mind to Bob and started cussin' and tossin' aimless punches!
But Two-Fingered Pete brought peace and order playin' one of his sagest hunches,
Singin', "Oh, Where Is My Wanderin' Boy Tonight?" bringin' the rowdy bunch to tears!
The Sheriff mused, "I ain't seen sech tranquility at the Long Branch fer many years!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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