A Dark Cloud

Written by: Therese Bacha

                                         A Dark Cloud  
                             
Why do I cry when I don't feel like crying?
Only because my pain increases daily until 
it became intolerable, indescribable over the days
it got worse.                        

Why do I laugh when I don't feel like laughing?
Only because I feel awkward in society the most
I wanted was to get away.

Why do I eat, when I don't feel like eating?
Only because my body wants to agonize
I feel i have a very long way to go in life. 

Why do I drink when I don't feel like drinking?
Only because I have to humidify my dead body
& my tears will water the roses.

Why am I here when I don't want to be here?
Only because nobody wants me & I was 
forbidden to travel.

Why do I stay when I don't want to stay?
Only because I have no choice I was unaccepted
& my freedom strangled.

Why do I miss when I don't want to miss?
Only because I want to suffer as i knew 
what they wanted from me.

Why do I dream when I don't want to dream?
Only because my dreams are dreamless they 
went down the drain.

Why do I feel lonely when I don't want to feel lonely?
Only because of my aloneness every moment changes
I get scary and cannot control my nerves.

Why do I phone when I don't want to phone?
Only because I miss the echo of a voice when
I answered that voice avoided me.

Why do I wake up when I don't feel like waking up?
Only because the bell rang just to relate to anybody 
but there was nobody.

Why am I in pain when I don't feel like being in pain?
Only because my pain has no end it cant stop bleeding.

Why do I dress up when I don't feel like dressing up?
Only because I cant stay naked winter is at the door.

Why do I go out when I don't feel like going out?
Only because time has to pass away & my 
memories have to fade astray.

Why was I born, when I don't feel alive?
Only because my mother helped me to 
stay alive.

Why did I marry when I din't want a husband?
Only because I was forced to get married all 
I wanted was to fly away as i couldn't stay.

Why am I in love when I don't feel like being 
In love? only because I have to love anyone
and our love seemed inevitable.

Why do I run when I don't feel like running?
Only because the doctor told me so & someone
was following me, I got scared had to be gone 
gone away.

Why am I angry when I don't want to be angry?
Only because my thoughts are hurting my system 
was a blur I couldn't wait for my fate.. 
 
Why am I a mother when I cant live with my children?
Only because I decided to run into the woods and hide, 
because I am getting older and maybe I can die.

                                      Therese Bacha                     
                                          5/4/2013        (Win No. 4)