In days Of Old

Written by: Mandy Tams The Golden Girl

In days of old when men were bold
And they didn’t use moisturiser....
They shaved with a sword, 
slapped whisky on their chin
And didn’t use aftershave in an atomiser

The scraped the dirt off with a shell, they reeked a good manly smell
They combed their hair with the jaw bone of an ass...
Not now oh no, their hairdryer is so big
You need a drying license to use it  
there’s even an exam you have to pass

They broke their nails with hard work
 A beer or two they do not shirk
But now it’s a wine bar and a manicure...
Oh where are the days when a man was a man
And not a female male that’s for sure

We woman must share the blame
We wanted equality
But then we took it too far...
Now we’re down the pub while they cook the tea
And we are the ones having a jar

There was nothing as nice as a man opening the door
To let a lady walk though
Not today’s man we find, 
we have to stand behind
And open and hold the door for them to pass too...

When men were the ones we looked to for help
They always came through for us girls
No now I’m afraid,
 they are busy at home
Baking cup cakes and tying ribbons for little girls...

In days of old when me were bold
And didn’t use a consealer
Proud to show off their scars 
And not refuse a date, 
To use their face mask and their skin peeler...

Girls we must shoulder some of the responsibility
We wanted to be more equal to our men
Now we get the tattoos,
Drink pints and pints of booze
Wear jack boots, party till dawn and even then...

Bring me back a real man,
 I’ll do all that I can
To keep him happy in his manliness...
I’ll work at it hard and teach him well
Even if I have to I’ll pick out his dress…

© ~GG~ 28/12/2012

Please do not be upset all you men out there I was cleaning my bathroom, I have to grown sons and a husband. I was moving all the products while I cleaned the shelves and out of 15 different bottles and potions I found three were mine and one of those was my toothbrush. I borrowed my son’s hairdryer to dry some moister because I wanted to re-grout behind the sink. I had to ask him how to use it because it was digital…………….dah xx