Ding Dong, Texas

Written by: Jack Ellison

Met this gal from Ding Dong, Texas Had warts all over her bum I know because she showed me them I got up and started to run Her six foot twelve hulk of a brother Said, "Boy! Best ya sits y'self down!" I knew I should listen to brother Luke The meanest damn dude in town! So Anitabath, his ding-a-ling sister Cozied up and quietly whispered "How's if we have some fun in the hay?" I quivered at having to kiss her! I said okay as this ding-a-ling stripped I cringed at her wart covered bum Saw a chance and tried to scurry away But Luke was on guard with a gun! "Just where d'ya think yer goin', sonny?" As he blocked my escape with his brawn Just then I spotted a tiny opening Took off like a skitterish young fawn! I heard the ominous crack of his rifle Felt around but could feel no pain Got into my pick-up and took off like a shot Never gone near Ding Dong again! There's definitely a moral in this sad little tale Don't hang out in a bar in Ding Dong Less you're ready for some Texas hospitality Say, "So long, sayonara, I'm gone"! © Jack Ellison 2012