Letter to sixteen year old self

Written by: Vicky Tsiluma

Hi sixteen year old self,

I won’t forget you … I can’t

You always stood alone -
too serious to laugh at jokes; too cynical to make your own.
And yet breaking through the barriers of every group.

Silently watching the ‘absurdity’ of your age mates 
as they made a run through the tumultuous teenage years.
Wryly helping your classmates compose love letters to their 
silly boyfriends; gleefully marking the response- awarding points.
(seriously, what were you thinking?)

Spending a lot of time doing nothing – you were the first to 
enroll in the ‘sun basking club’. Your name of course showing
attendance in ‘progressive’ clubs. (Oh, that was a close call 
with the PE teacher – please stay away from the pool).
Too bothered to do assignments you perfected the art of avoiding checkups- 
And created a monster in poor S - who never did another assignment again –
Oh those were good times!!! (Don’t worry, you both survive, but it won’t
hurt if you studied once in awhile).

Always appearing innocent – never getting into trouble
You stood aside and watched as the ‘buzzers’ were punished for almost
starting a riot – ha, if only they knew! (please never do that again).

And yet, you, who could so eloquently spin words infront of a throng,
You carved in and let your heart be consumed in fear – all because
you let doubt invade your mind when the trusted man lied.
You let him throw you off balance just because of his position –
NEVER EVER do that again, to anyone – all humans are equal.
Let the action of a man redeem him or condemn him.
There is NOTHING wrong with your perceptions – (yes, even
when others don’t see what you see).

Breathe and let others breathe. 
Give up the search for perfection – it doesn’t exist.
But mostly, just allow yourself to grow, bumps are there to
direct you to the path you ought to take.
You WILL reach your destination in due time, believe me.

From me.

ps, stop eating too many sweets, lol!

12/22/2012