weight in the eyes

Written by: andrew delapruch

yesterday, 
have to say that you walked
freely,
as if the world was yours
for the taking &
you were the possession of
no one,
however,
today, you have
an undeniable weight in your
eyes,
that unmistakable 
weight 
of possible romance or
ensuing intimacy,
or that worry that comes with
early jealousy,
bred in the bowels of 
what you secretly think is going to
“last forever”
&
it beats down on the back of your
neck,
bringing your head down,
making you check your phone 
every other minute
as if said new fling had just texted you,
as if they just updated something on
face**** or twatted about you &
them,
as if you suddenly mattered now,
when just yesterday,
you were
nothing---
but alas, when you were nothing,
you were free &
now you are wondering
even as you read this,
just what they are doing 
when they aren’t with you,
just when you will get to meet them
again,
just what exactly will happen when
you do &
you 
fantasize
fantasize
fantasize,
as if you had any choice whatsoever
left to speak of.