my inner soul still strugglin
inner soul still strugglin'....
slapping my face
alcohol smell in my nose
mouth held closed
hands tied, i thinking why
as his freinds look
fears and tears
for many years
pregnant at a young age
mom in rage
thinking it with a young boy at not her man
as she beat me saying "she didn't understand"
"i raised you better then that my child"
"have you been having sex for a while?..."
mom with blind eyes and death ears, what could i say or do
after the termination of the pregnancey, he was still not through
at eighteen i was compelled
i should have never done so
denial first and then a harsh blow
kick out of the house forced to marry
burdens i carry
not safe at home or school or church
at eighteen years age this was a bit much
no one to talk to so i begin to rebel
though i never went to jail
my mother took my son away
and she reminded of early motherhood each day
at twenty i settled down, started working a grocery store
only see the monster that molested me more and more
he stalked me until i quit that job
...filled with fears and thoughts of my childhood being robbed
attempting to move on and be all that i could be
my mom had no confidence in me
low self esteem
the world against me it seemed
this memory will never end
because my inner soul is still strugglin'...
[MOTION'LES and LOST are two words that are found in MOLESTATION], this i was...