How Many Mask

Written by: jackie thomas

To a WONDERFUL Woman and all she knew,
...instilled in me as I grew

The pleasures of life and what it had to offer; the glamour and the fun,
Until the one day she pulled a gun

...on me for seeking the love that was never there,
Bullied, raped and molested and you have figured  it out...during it ALL she was no where.

When I attempted to speak and any time of the day,
"I am busy" is what she would say.

I longed for someone, someday...
Instead my dreams and thoughts were so very gray.

I grew with a part of me very happy and the other part of me filling that void,
Not asking my teacher or my uncle but the Lord...

To help me find me, my inner me that was always left and destroyed,
I'm sadden becuase along the way I was attracted to men like her that I just could not avoid.

Even in two thousand twelve, I yet attract those type men...oh yes, the same ole' thing,
Lord, please get me out of this, I contunue to sing.

Men that were abused themselves and continued that same vicious tone,
Then, I later figure out that I was not alone.

However, sometimes children are reproduced when these two mnetally and physically abused people meet,
...and that vicious cycle continues to defeat.

I do appreciate the raising of me because my biological mom chose not,
But the things that happen I have not forgot.

I don't ask for pitty not a shoulder to cry on...
But for this cycle to soon be gone. 

Lord, how do we in those periods of our lives knew you and we somehow forget...
That You are the Answer and we can't admit.

Dear Lord, I am not asking the question why but for You to reveal that, that I can understand,
...and that I continue to love even those that hurt me is in your plan.