Archie Bunker Opines Upon The Demise Of Twinkies
"Edith! Edith! I didn't find a Twinkie in my lunch bucket today!
What happened, Dingbat? Why do you torture me this way?"
"But Archie, ain't you seen on TV they ain't makin' 'em anymore?
The company is foldin' up and they ain't stockin' 'em at the store!"
"I blame you fer this disaster, Meathead, you and yer pinko friends!
The greedy union reached too far killin' jobs on which people depends!
Yer democrat gov'mint stimulated my tax dollars fer ever' thing in sight!
Instead of blowin' money on green inergy, I'd like some to solve my plight!"
"But, Daddy" - poking his gut - "fast food like Twinkies isn't good for you!"
"Let me tell you somethin', little girl! That may be yer lib'ral point of view!
My life ain't never gonna be the same agin without Twinkies fer a snack!
Them things is as American as yer mother's punkin' pie and I want 'em back!"
"I fought for the flag, baseball, Coca Cola and Twinkies in Dubya Dubya Two!
I slogged through the mud in Italy and was shot in a very fragile area too!
Now, I feel that it was all in vain to pertect all them things I hold dear!
No Twinkies for my lunch? Stifle yerselfs! I'm goin' to Kelsey's fer a beer!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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