Crazy Thoughts No 4

Written by: Jack Ellison

Babies have been known to crawl
Up to seven hundred feet a day
Better tie a rope tightly around them
Or they'll wind up miles away

Sex burns 360 calories per hour
Who has sex for an hour
Longest for me is seventy-three seconds
Burn more just having a shower 

In Finland every Donald Duck comic
Was banned a few decades ago
Betcha can't guess the reason why
He was naked down below

Summer on Uranus lasts 21 years
Packing my bags as I write
Better not forget the sun tan lotion
My epidermis is pure lily white

From around the age of thirty
Humans begin to shrink
Imagine we lived to a hundred and fifty
We'd be one inch tall methinks

During a normal human life span
Hearts beat more than two billion times
So anything less than that huge number
You're dead so it's time to recline

About 400 different kinds of microbes
Coexist on the human body
They don't even wait for an invitation
Like in-laws I find that shoddy

Only one in two billion people will live
To the age of one hundred sixteen
Sorry for all you nice folks out there
But I'm the one chosen it seems

Giraffes can clean their ears with their tongue
It's dangerous don't try this at home
It might just twist you into a pretzel
And even break a few bones!

© Jack Ellison 2012