Secrete Ingredient

Written by: Gail DeBole

Written Nov. 10, 2012

Gail’s Note:  Not for the Faint of Heart
                      Rated PG-13 (Poetic Grossness – 13 out of 20)
                      What part of this is true?  
                      Answer posted at the end.                   		

I was at the hospital.
It was a quarter past two.
I was waiting for my husband.
There was nothing to do.

The emergency was over.
His gall bladder was out.
He was coming back home
Better off, no doubt.

The next day our daughter cooked
A special meal for her dad.
To celebrate the ending
of what could have been sad.

Instead we were all at the table
Treating my hubby like a star
When he eyed the counter
And asked, “Where is the jar?”

My daughter’s eye caught mine
And she instantly knew
That this was no ordinary
Meat and Potato stew.

She ran into the bathroom
Her face turning green
As she quickly zoomed
Bypassing  her scream.

And while she was retching
I quickly followed behind
And while she was queching
I spoke to ease her mind. 

“Your meal is bladder free.
The jar’s on the garage shelf.
Come, look with me.
You can see for yourself.”

And when she saw the jar
Her eyes met mine.
I could tell she was beginning
To feel just fine.

She went back to the kitchen
And I did some retching myself
Because I had just fibbed
About that jar on the shelf.

The bladder in that jar
Was an old one of mine
And dad’s had been cooked
With potatoes, carrots, and wine. 

So the moral of this tale
Is to say, “Thanks, but I’ll pass,”
When given a memento of yourself
From the hospital staff.

Answer:  Person who had the gall bladder removed was my cousin.  The hospital really gave him his gall bladder to take home in a jar.  He really set it on the kitchen counter. (Ugh!) His wife made him move it to the garage.