Duct Tape Love

Written by: Heaven Lorenz

No matter how many tears I've shed,
You'll always haunt me.
There's nothing that will stop you
From torturing me.

Every promise you ever whispered
Was spoiled when it passed your lips.
Every lie I always believed.
I held my soul together with duct tape.

When you violated me, when you beat me
I'd just add another layer of it
Hoping that it'll keep me together,
Keep me from crumbling to your touch.

You took what was most important,
You took it and cackled,
I lay broken on the floor crying
As I desperately try to keep my self together.

The bruises left by your fists decorate
My face. I tried to scream but nothing came out.
The more I tried to make you happy, the more it hurt.
Add another layer. Keep my (in)sanity in check.

Even after everything you've done to me,
It still hurt when you left. 
There was a gaping hole
That the duct tape couldn't fill.

Now I stare in the mirror,
Gone are the cuts
Gone are the bruises 
But I don't feel any better.

There's a hole that can't be 
Filled by silence. Only your cruelty 
Can fix me. Only lying to myself
and adding more layers can help.

I never realized how much I needed you,
Never realized that I craved the abuse,
Never wanted you to leave,
Only wanted you to hurt me.

Why can't I get over you?
Why do I still want to live in Hell?
What have you done?
Why won't the duct tape fix it?