HELP ME START AGAIN

Written by: Chuma Okonkwo

I've been hiding under my invincible shadows
Beclouded by emotions
From my copious failed relationships
My mind has been convulsive
Convoluted by conundrums
Defiling all possible answers.

I've been ensnared in this labyrinth
My mind racing like a roller coaster
I just can’t make a step
Without being held back
By the invisible hand
My goals; my dreams; my hopes 
I've holed up should I call for them one day.

I don’t know what else to do
I let loose myself in music
No words; no ideas; no nothing
Just me and my thoughts alone
But my music is fading like quickies
No longer in that melodious way as it used to
It tastes now like an expired drug
Making every moment sulkier than the previous.

But I've tried to keep on the lights
Stopped to keep on at myself or anyone
For the complications I face
I need a brainwave
My soul is unbolted for your admonitions
Not for another junk
Or just for another reassurance
But for what my soul yearns for
A way into love.

Though the stars have turned down
My supplications; to shine for me
Though the sun always depart me
Without bringing a little bit of shine
Into my solitary abode
Though the answers I seek for have eluded me
I know you’re out there waiting for me
I don’t just see the tell-tale signs
I'm well convinced
You'll help me start again.