I thought I loved them

Written by: Shahana Jackson

I thought that I loved them.
I mean I would like to think that I did.
I wiped so many tears from off my face because
I assumed that, that was what love really is ....

Well I thought I loved them. 
all these people that would rent my heart
but didn't intend to keep it.
I was to be used, and returned
just like a net flix DVD.

But I could have sworn I loved them.
I refused to get out of the ring.
I would fight to my death to win 
what I thought I loved.
But they would never even get 
in the ring for me.

I thought I loved these unavailable people.
I treated them like they owed me something.
I had my hand out and they gave me no coins, no change.
I was like a poor person trying to withdraw money
from my account with unavailable funds. 
Their hearts were never mines 
and I was as broke as ever.

I was for sure that I loved them
until the day that I met you.
I knew that I loved you 
when I was willing to let someone else have you.

The day I met you I wasn't selfish.
I had expectations and you crushed them.
I knew I loved you the day I agreed 
to be your friend.
I put my own wants to the side.

I love you.
I am sure every time I looked into your eyes.
I exchanged in my bad habits just to 
be good enough for you to have.
I know that your too good for me.
You don't just want to rent my heart
you want to buy me and keep me.

I love you because you made me yours.
I swallowed all my fears down 
and I pray to god that you don't leave.
I thought I loved them
but they are like skeletons
compared to you.
The love I have for you 
is so real, alive and human.