Man's Best Friend

Written by: Charles Sides

Emerging from the downtown hardware store I saw a strange funeral procession Two black limo hearses were at the front Then walked a man without expression The man had a shaggy dog on a leash A long string of people followed him All of these people were in single file That’s why I addressed the man on a whim “Forgive me for asking; I’m curious” “What type funeral procession is this”? My wife’s in the lead hearse; my dog killed her When she Bi*ched at me, he just went amiss But I see there are two hearses up front Alas, my mother-in-law was killed too When she tried to help my wife, he killed her Once my dog got mad, I knew they were through I thought for a minute; then spoke real low “I have a strange request, if you don’t mind” “Is there a chance I could borrow your dog”? Well sure, but you have to go get in line