The Defect

Written by: Sami LaRose

Sami LaRose
The Defect

It is an overloud of pressure
Once of with I cannot stand any longer.
All these built up feelings and emotions are driving me to insanity
I constantly feel like I am rocking on a boat, 
Forward and backward
Backward and forward
A never ending chain and feeling of motions
I smoke pot to get rid of all that I feel; but the effects only work for so long
And when I go a day without the grass, my world comes tumbling down to (a) crash.
The grass helps me forget everything; it leads my mind to a blank abyss
I am not saying that I want to be soulless
But I no longer want to feel;
Because every time I have ever felt anything it ended in broken dreams and misery.
And let’s not forget the heart ache,
A person can only withstand getting s*it on so much by the world before they finally crack;
Before the drugs finally wear off, and the holding of pain back.
We as people were meant to feel, and when I feel it feels too real
It’s an overwhelming sum of all these emotions, 
I feel things so vibrantly it’s scary.
When I don’t feel  weird, the grass makes me forget I was ever here.
It makes me “happy” and no longer insecure,
But on the days that I’m sober,
 I know the truth.
The days that I’m aware how I feel, I know how bad I’m trying to stay clear
Trying to hide myself from myself
But what else can you do when you’re trying to be someone else;
Pain is pain
Love is love
And a f*c* is just a f*ck.
In the end everything is how it is just plain, simple, and like how it’s spelled out,
So why go through all of that just to “figure it out”
I’m like a puzzle, very complex.
In the world we are all puzzle pieces connecting to one another to help each other out;
But maybe I’m not one missing puzzle piece, maybe I’m that one broken chipped off pieces
Maybe I am; the defect.