Tossed Away

Written by: Zaida Ruiz

Someone ground me up and buried me
Alive with the memory of the person
I thought I was
There are parts of me that still scream
In hopes of being recovered
Someone tore open the pocket of my heart
And let secrets like severed curls tumble
Helplessly to the cellar of my soul
I couldn’t find them in that thick unyielding
Darkness and so I ceased to know
Who I was supposed to be
I couldn’t salvage me not the way my mother
Salvaged the curls of my hair when 
I asked to cut them
How she suffered and mourned and finally just kept those light and fragile
Fragments of myself
Someone cut me short
I wish I could recall a face
My clearest memory is of the pain
And the disgrace I don’t remember anymore
Who I’m supposed to be
I can’t climb out or recuperate
I can’t remember how I’m incomplete
I’m severed and I’ve been tossed away
I still look for myself…..
One day I will run across it once again
I look and wait but never believe that I will 
Ever meet my full recovery