Strange letters

Written by: Nikola Žilic

A hug by wife a kiss or two,
In every moment he wishes to,
A smile by child and he is happy.
Yet, for a while his words they trap me:

I have lost my wife today,
My bridge to the living,
Which is not as grey,
As was the act of killing.

For years my youngest rotted,
Under his bedroom ceiling.
The spider web she knotted, 
Concealed any real meaning.

A child’s body bejeweled my bed,
And in my hand a woman’s head.
The first I loved as fathers do,
The next I loved as you would do.

So I ran real fast through street and town,
As scared would do when demons haunt. 
But all the world just seemed to taunt,
I’m scared of picture scared of sound,

And all these questions zero answer,
I could be thousand times smarter, 
But the  harder I barter with reason
Heavier its mindless treason.
Just no real reason, where is the reason?

I have no use, my mind is the night,
There is no good beyond such dark,
Livings is hard for love we must fight,
All will come back with a fresh start.

So I bought a bunch of pills, and my mind thrills,
The view from this building arouses emotion.
I’ve also cut my wrists, if the fall doesn’t kill 
It doesn’t take skill to guess the notion.

And once I do the last thing I do,
I’ll be back in my brown work shoes,
A hug by wife a kiss or two,
In every moment I wish her to,
A smile by child to make my smile 
An honest try to make it thrive.
And to my wife I promise strive,
a gift to love from her own life. 

You see the confusion, pure chaos the words
I can’t make heads or tails with that.
Death and life so interwoven it blurs,
Strange was my father and a bit fat.