What I am looking for

Written by: Jay Loveless

Dear God, What am I looking for? 
I speak to you each day,
I talk about my brother,
And the things that I would say.
But did I mention God,
That I'm doing really good?
I live with my boyfriend,
I moved out of my neighborhood.
Dear God, I am happy,
As happy as I can be,
There are still some hurtful moments,
But I don't cry enough to fill the sea.
So what am I looking for,
Do you have the wisdom to know?
Do I want him to come find me,
Or do I just want the peace you could bestow. 
Sometimes I feel like I can't forgive him,
For leaving me without the last bits of my family,
When I think about my anger it's grim. 
I need to remind myself that he was sinking when he'd try to swim.
Dear God, What do I want? 
I just want him to walk back into my life.