Written by: Charles Clive

The people who only eat lettuce and nibble some nuts from a bowl, are totally, utterly tiresome; this ‘smugger-than-thou’ rigmarole. But me? I am rather old fashioned and faddy foods don’t pass my lips. I’ll tell you one thing that I fancy, a juicy great steak – and some chips. I like a wee nip of the whisky, a malt and I beg with no ice; so will you just make it a double. I don’t think I’d call it a vice. I’m partial to wine from the Touraine, a dry little number will do. And then I enjoy a good claret, all ancient and Premier Cru. Now! Who are these creatures for supper? Their surnames, I think I have missed. Dear God! What a dreary young couple. Shank goodnesh, I’ve got them both pished! ~
For Elliott Bowe's 'Drunken Pen' Competition.