Shopaholic's Lament

Written by: Gail DeBole

Written on June 12, 1995
Updated on April 19, 2012

Gail's Note: Written in the voice of a shopaholic 
(the hoarder's first cousin)  
Not really me, although I do have some items 
that could probably fit into this category.

Useless Products, the Vendor cries
Useless Products, for one and all!
Useless Products, the Vendor sighs
Buy useless products that will line your walls.

Well, I really like my useless products.
Society has taught me to stand quite tall
As I'm dialing every 800 number
To buy the products that line my walls.

Well, I really hate my useless products.
Society has taught me to dread each one.
If I could just stop buying useless products
I'd be able to look through the windows on my walls.

And so the products pile higher and higher
Until my soul is buried alive
And the reasons for buying don't seem to matter
Until my family hears only my cries.