I Just Can Not Win

Written by: Carol Eastman

There was a day, oh so clear… I took my newly trained dog for a walk.
Just as I left the house… a rabbit came by, and yes, we were off.
My dog took off quite fast… as he ran the rabbit under a car.
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win… but I’m still alive, so far…

Then a squirrel crossed the street… for in a tree, to hide.
Clearly we had to follow… as cars swerved to miss us in their ride
I was very grateful that day… to find every thing still intact.
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win…as a friend, helped us from a limb, well cracked.

Next the mailman rounded the bend… in his small-motorized truck
I sure am glad he got away… but again, me… not so much.
I can attest to my dog’s health… As we ran a mile in record time…
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win… as a fire truck came roaring by.

Now don’t you worry so very much… we survived, yet, again?
And as all settled down, I was so glad… till the rain came rumbling in.
Since lightening and thunder scare him so… we made it home, in record time.
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win… as from under the door I climbed.

The dinner table had been set… as I hurried from the door.
Dinner will be late; I have to explain… as I now cleared it from the floor.
A walk always develops an appetite… I mused, as I began to explain doggy house laws.
Yep, you guessed it… I just can’t win…  as the turkey lay between his paws.

The trainer assured me my dog’s well trained… though with a small attention span
Training’s gone well, he said, again… though he looked like a crazed stuntman.
Yep, you guessed it… He couldn’t win…as he gave me, my money back 
A little chagrinned… he sent me on my way, with several tons of luck.

There’ll probably be another moment or two… with my beloved Great Dane.
But that’s to be expected… from a 100 lb puppy that’s almost potty trained
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win... But Don’t Worry, we’re doing well… 
OOOPS, the doorbell rang… here we go again, for another time…

But know, eventually he will grow up… and by then we’ll be just fine…