Victim

Written by: Jennifer Abrams

I've been a victim
A victim of my own
Self doubt
Self pity
And self loathing
I've let chaos pick me up
And up and down
Around and around
Faster than a merry go round
Like the thoughts in my head swirling around
I think I may just drown
The ghost of a smile? Or just another frown?
God I cant take the sound!
The sound of the silence
Pressing in on me
Every breath a labored struggle
For sanity to stop being insanity
For my unreal reality to some how not be my reality
Swimming in an ocean of tissues
They say I have issues
My friends all think I've cracked
My brain is wracked
With thoughts and desires
You with me and me with you
Now just me myself and I
As we become I and I
The road to Zion stays clear
Jah has met me upon the path
His eyes a bloody wrath
No time to fear
Dirty lips with dirty words
I am my own messiah
I must die for my own mind and sins
"Save us" I hear the sovereign plea
Of all my dreams
Burdened down 
By bitterness and terror
"Save you?" What need have I of dreams?
Clothed in rags and fleas
Depart from me or die with me!
Dreams I cannot eat
And I've no effort left to save you
If I cannot even save me
Listening to the drip drip drip
Of another bloody attempt
Pain searing in my veins
As I knew and
Dreamless I wept
Until at last I slept
With no more fear of waking up