Written by: Alan Douglas

I know - I’m supposed to keep this secret
easy, by month one nothing’s visible yet

in month two damn sickness greets morn
and I’m wishing I’d never been born

by end of third deep serenity’s applied
and all appears to be settled inside

with the fourth my bump starts to show
and I wonder ... when will parents know

in the fifth my movements stop still
while the baby’s march up and down hill

come the sixth I rest both bodies a lot
and this secret’s become more of a plot

tell Mama - with her help I struggle from bed
for the joyous day that I am to be wed

in my seventh the secret’s quite clear
well, I'm married, so ignore “Dear oh dear”

greet the eighth with a football enhancing
boy or girl, baby’s into break dancing

meet the ninth with many a groan
when will this huge bubble be done ?

At start of tenth with a push, screams and shout
finally my best-kept and worst-kept secret is OUT 

right now, I want all the wide world to know
football’s burst, and it’s ON with life’s show

bubble, champagne and hubby all Pop
though whacked, where I’m in the world is on top !

Alan McAlpine Douglas