Where I Stand and Why I Am

Written by: Derek Chos

The shadows come to rest behind me
To trust them is to die as well
Where I stand they come upon me
Pointing me unto their Hell

Am I just a worthless liar?
Am I just an imbecile?
Would you trust to fall back on me?
Trust me not to fall as well?

For I am just a worthless fighter
A shell of one who once was whole
Take skeletons from their graves and
Bend the dry bones to my will

Where I stand is what I call
Hell on a place I've only
Known because I've been held back
By those who called themselves my friends

Take my hand and you will know why
Trusting me is so unwise
I act upon my nervous impulse 
And regret it when the passion dies

Why I am is not a question
Of who or what I have become
Nor a question of who I've killed
To become what I've become

Jesus, won't you smile on me?
Show me the path to my fate?
Jesus, won't you smile on me?
Show me before it's too late

Why can't I just erase what
I've faced and my scars and my
Life that I have left behind and
Walk towards a brighter future?