Exclamations of The Perfect Child

Written by: Margeret Bailey

Goodness Gracious!
My classmates are all hot messes,
They all managed to get cookie crumbs
all over their dresses,
They have warped into little monsters!
Attacking snacks as if they were Edward 
Scissorhands,
I can't bear to look,
Their antics are repulsive man,
Please stop the presses and the publicity!
Someone needs to show these kids how to
eat,
How can anyone go from enjoying a meal,
to being the most notorious violators
of fine cuisine...?
There is no peeling, patting or baking 
involved, so why is it so hard to partake
politely, without being ghastly and unsightly?
Goodness Gracious!
It is such a turn off when youngsters act like
complete slobs,
I wonder how they would fare eating pasghetti
in globs? Or cotton candy melting by the millisecond?
They would probably need a Nursemaid......
I reckon.