Nervous Purvis

Written by: Vincent Procopio

Nervous  Purvis, why so quirky?
I’m losin’ my hair and the future’s lookin’ murky

Nervous Purvis, why the twisted scowl?
No woody here, just a slim little dowel

Nervous Purvis, why can’t you score?
I’m wearin’ silly drawers and I eat off the floor

Nervous Purvis, why blame it on the Man?
Cuz he’s real bossy and kicks me in the can

Nervous Purvis, why the dirty pants?
I wore ‘em to bed while reading Judith Krantz

Nervous Purvis, why not make a change?
Cuz I like sittin’ pretty and scratchin’ my mange

Nervous Purvis, you could be so much!
Like paying for meals and housing and such?

Nervous Purvis, why the dirty nails?
Been slurpin’ on felch and fillin’ diaper pails

Nervous Purvis, you’ll never fit in!
On with ya, donkus, and wipe off your chin!