Becoming heartless

Written by: Jessica Carr

cold January days of last year 
set on fire this year by my wrath
in the quit snowy days i fell in love; young , stupid and blind 
ignorance turned to truth and with in the summer my vision became more clear
...
Growing from a girl to a woman is hard
not as hard as i expected it to be.
my visions of love floated so carelessly in my head
now there deflated by the reality of love
....
love is a fictional feeling
i seen really beautiful love once in the eyes of mothers in the eyes of 
my brothers and sisters
but to see that kind of love in the eyes of another man i failed to see
....
growing up i became colder and colder
till i busted through the ice with my raging anger
and once that simmered down i was nothing more but ice again.
...
my heart has became so cold 
im afraid that ill never know the difference between 
love
and lust
lust that i try and fill the holes with that remain endless 
moments like this i need to feel something real instead of false touches and endless lies