Customer Service

Written by: Milton Toran

"Thank you for calling ACME, INCORPORATED"
"For English, press 1"
"En Espanol, numero dos"
(Customer presses 1)
"If this is a business, press 1"
"If this is a residence, press 2"
(Customer presses 2)

"Please listen carefully to the following"
(Customer listens)
"If you have an account, press 1"
"For new service, press 2"
(Customer presses 1)

"Please listen carefully to the following"
(Customer listens)
"To make a payment, press 1"
"For questions about your bill, press 2"
"For hours of operation, press 3"
"For payment locations, press 4"
"To transfer your service to a new address, press 5"
"To disconnect your service, press 6"
"To update your account information, press 7"
"For technical support, press 8"
"To return to the main menu, press 9"
"To speak to a representative, press 0"
(Customer presses 0)

"Due to high call volumes, we're unable
 to assist you at this time"
"Please hang up and call back later"...

"Have a nice day!"