The Christmas Paradox
Merry Christmas and all that stuff and don’t forget to write,
Now if you would all be on your way I’d like a silent night.
It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed your stay, I have you must believe me,
I just wish that it were over now because your leaving would relieve me.
I’d like to say that the magic of this day would be with me until I die,
But out of respect for the holiday I feel that it would be wrong to lie.
I’ve spent the time following you around and picking up after your kids,
Putting food back in the refrigerator and closing up all of the lids.
I’ve even picked up your smelly socks after making Christmas dinner,
While you’ve all gotten fat it seems that I’ve grown that much thinner.
But when next year comes you’d better be here to visit with Santa Claus,
Don’t tell me that you’ll spend Christmas time over at your in-laws.
Because Christmas is a family time and we all should be together,
And you can tell your in-laws that you’ll be theirs on Arbor Day forever.