Look in me


Have you ever watched me cry
Night after night
Behind these doors?
Have you ever noticed
My teary eyes
As we drive back home?
What I need is someone
To lift me up
As I sink in the
Abyss  of hopelessness.
I told you, I am not strong
Just my dreams are stronger
But you keep crushing them
They would never be true,
You say, so little chance
Live with the ordinary 
Cause that’s what life is about
My heart struggles to accept this
But, how can I disobey you?
Have I ever? 
I only disagree.
What I need is not you
You say, find someone new
But how could I? 
Don’t you see the chains
Formed the day, I gave myself
To you?
My goals are not so noble
Just ambitious
Dream to change the world 
In a way you never did
But how can I do so?
You look down
On everyone else who did.
How can I but want to
Yearn your hate and not your admiration?
Your love
For which I left everything
I ever owned.
For a world which was never mine or would be!
Don’t you see, how I am dying
Inside, day after day?
Sleepless nights into endless days
Into desperation
And hopelessness
Killing me, slowly.