The Patient's Lament

Written by: Beatrice Boyle

The Patient’s Lament

You're lying in your bed
Just trying to get some sleep
You've taken your medication
And you've counted endless sheep
The guy that shares the room with you
Snores so loud he wakes the dead
You can't go over to shake him
Cause you can't get out of bed
Finally when you just doze off
And sleep has come at last
They wake you for your sleeping pill
(Aren't hospitals just a blast!)

It's 7:00 am when you finally crash
And sleep has come your way
When an aide shouts "good morning
Here is your breakfast tray!"
Then they prop you up with pillows
So they can draw some blood
But they hit the mother vein
And it spurts out in a flood
They get you out of bed
So your blood doesn't clot
But you sit there all day long
Because someone just forgot!

The coffee's just not drinkable
The food...not fit for man or beast
At the price that you are paying
You expect a decent steak at least!
Then one day you're feeling better
And they get you out of bed
Then they rush you out the door
And give it to someone else instead
They say that you're no longer ill
You think it's just a plot
Then they hand you the bill
And you drop dead on the spot!

The moral of this story
Is never to be ill
If the hospital doesn't kill you
The final bill WILL!

Copyright©2000 Beatrice Boyle
(All rights reserved)

For Tracie's Make Me Laugh contest.