In Football Shape

Written by: Larry Belt

Just like football I am penalized
My wife says for being off sides 
I just wanna snuggle a little bit
But you know them football brides

She wears black and white pajamas to bed
With that stupid whistle around her wrist
She blows that thing whenever I snore
And man do I get pissed

I say,"What was that for, what did I do?"
She said, "Delay of sleep for snoring too loud"
She even plays a recording that she had made
That sounds like a cheering crowd

I even won a prize in a cereal box
And did a little dance in jubilation
Again she blows that stupid whistle
Unsportsman like conduct, excessive celebration

So I asked her one day, "What's this about,
are you ever gonna stop this at all?"
She said, "Honey I just can't help it, it's your shape,
Cause you look like a giant football"