Chika Means Scattered Flowers
I was 13 and in love,in eighth grade and so very lost.
My family saw a prodigy a girl,whom they didn't want
In hopes they wanted a boy
The scars I made ran deep inside.
Through my thinning blood veins
So touching the skin of the surface didn't provide
a secure enough feeling to protect me from the night.
Night time nightmares that haunted my subconsciousness
The pain ran deep,thought love could fix it.
i depended on him to be there forever,since no one else would
But he left one day,and i was so alone.
I realized then i could only trust myself,hug,hold,tell myself it'd be alright.
The chills that hugged me through the waking of the dawn.
The sunrise I'd wish would hurry and come over the horizon
Should it set me free from the darkness
To warm me of my emotionless state of mind.
The blood that ran through my veins and name i wish i didn't have.
The disgrace,genious no one wanted,the fury and tears i kept hidden.
But the red color that leaked from the scars said it all.
The girl i wanted to be,who i needed to be but couldn't.
For all the rebellion and pain. I'm sorry but I knew you wouldn't ever care.
Your eyes always said it to me
Even when your lips lied
Your eyes told me the truth
You were to busy,to gone away to tell me of our family
The saddest smile always laid on my lips
You saw it and denied it
How could your eldest daughter do this to you?
The questions you asked...
The answers you received back
The perfection that ran deep in blood
I did not want.
To be like you..
To relive your life was horrid
I was not conceived to relive your life
I was born to live mine
But in your mist of unknowing
I found my on family
No blood relation
Backgrounds totally different
But we all felt the same pain
Our eyes told our stories
While our lips told the lies
I didn't have to fake my happiness
I just had to find myself
Though all my unhappiness and loss
I found Family and I found Me