giving up all hope

Written by: ian schnitzler

cant do this anymore 
knees to weak to stand 
waiting for that bit of adrenalin so i can get back on my feet 
my stress level is in the danger zone 
depression is controlling my life
where in my drawer i keep a knife 
always knowing i have that easy way out keeps me alive another day
the fighting with my ex 
the frustration of wondering whats next 
that empty feeling of being alone everyday 
all the confusion 
wanting to get back with her 
shes telling me that she changed but knowing its all an allusion 
everyday is the same 
everyday i feel depressed 
everyday i mentally and physically feel pain 
why does the thought of death run like a river through my head each day 
why cant i just be happy 
why cant my life just be normal like it use to be 
why does this have to happen to me 
maybe i should just let go and set my soul free 
maybe the afterlife will be better then my current one 
all this stress on me weighs a ton 
ive dug myself a hole that doesnt seem like i will ever get out of 
wishing i could go back and change so many things so i wouldnt be in this situation