Hillbilly Frankenstein

Written by: Rockman Pritts

She asked him, "Why are you drinking
Before it's 9 am"?
He told her not to worry
She said, "Damn! You're drunk again".

She said that she was tired
Of him sleeping on the couch
She told him forty seven ways
He acted like a slouch

"Get up and fix the plumbing
Go outside and mow the lawn
Close your mouth you stupid ass
Don't let me see you yawn".

"Comb your hair and shave your beard
Look more like a man".
He rubbed his face and shook his head
And said, "How's that again"?

She stomped her feet in fury
As her fist shook back and forth
"I'm going back to mommas
If you don't get up and work".

So he staggered to his feet
And grabbed his britches by the waist
He pulled them up and stumbled off
To find a quiet place

He said that he was going
To the store to by some bread
But never made it further
Than his broke down pick-up bed

Thirty minutes later
He was wakened from his sleep
She took the backyard garden hose
And sprayed him head to feet

He jumped and ran to save himself
And find some place to hide
He heard her cackling like a hen
As she went back inside

He hid behind the bushes
Till he thought the coast was clear
He had to find a way inside
To get another beer

He crept up to the screen door
Looking in to take a peek
He slowly pulled it open
So as not to make it squeak

He slipped inside and closed it
Then he tiptoed 'cross the floor
Quietly he reached out
For refrigerator door

But something caught his eye
And he looked over toward the sink
That dadgum woman took his beer
And poured out all his drink

His head was bent in sorrow 
At the tragedy he saw
A dozen soldiers down in flames
And bound by Sundays law

There was nothing left to do
But go and take his seat
Beside his wife of twenty years
Who made his life complete

He loved her 'cause she loved him
It was paradise in hell
He whispered that into her ear
And she said, "Damn you smell".

"Get off me with your drunken breath
Go sit over there".
And so he went and slouched down in
His worn out easy chair

Quietly they watch tv
Into the dark of night
Then went to bed with word unsaid
And turned out all the lights


The end


Rockman  :-)